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iamsad.co.uk sad web sites, funny websites, and extraordinary mediocrity.
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Text Only: Below is the content of the current version of iamsad.co.uk without pictures. |
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May 2004 - Things are growing
Having recently add the 'Add URL' page a few funny websites have been submitted, like this one: http://www.geocities.com/galardobody/ At first sight it looks like a Microsoft 'Page not found' or 404 error, and I dare say a few people who visit this one quickly leave without realising it's a spoof.
This month's 'Missed The Mark' winner for the most unfunny website is www.blahblahblah.co.uk. "This site is intended to be satirical in nature", if you say so 'Andrew John Summersgill, 1997-2004'.
To fully appreciate this month's all round worst site, (bad design, awful animation and sound), first visit its guestbook then the site proper here: http://members.tripod.com/. If this was a deliberate send-up one would have to admire the attention to detail and the amount of work needed to create such a totally dreadful and embarrassing mess. However, this site seems to be a genuine attempt to advertise the services of a Forrest C. Kimmel, metal plate polisher and photo manipulator extraordinaire.
More funny websites next month. ~ The Sadmaster.
10th May 2004
Getting up to speed.
It's been a long time since I last updated iamsad.co.uk and I almost feel as though we're meeting for the first time. How are you? Me? I'm ok - still finding things to laugh at.
I've been looking through some old files over the past couple of days. As you might expect, rather a lot of my older favourite sad sites are no longer there. One that just cought my eye though is http://www3.mistral.co.uk/djt/. Last time I looked at this address there were a few pages about chiles and a few pictures of chiles moving around the page. Looks like someone got the poor guy. Maybe I should try to email him... more soon.
Sadmaster
8th March 2002
Mid March
I'm starting to catch up. I've been through most of all the old rubbish, which is looking rather tired on the whole, apart from the old classics, like Sounds of Pasta which still makes me smile. There's a few more recent and previously unfeatured sites being added in the next day or two, so keep coming back.
Here's a good one: mateinastate.com, one of those sites you wish you'd thought of. As you can glean from the name, this site is all about pictures of someone's mate in a stupid drunken state. If it's not famous by the time you read this, it probably will be soon. Very funny.
14th March 2002
vote now
Click the 'NEW' link above and express your opinion on the latest additions to iamsad.co.uk
17th March 2002
As Seen on Radio 4
The Oscars are now just a distant memory, but the award season isn't quite over yet, as iamsad.co.uk has been awarded the Golden Web Award, (not really made of gold, would you believe?), and Radio 4's Broadcasting House programme (Sundays at 9am) has been awarded the first ever 'Overlooked Radio Programme of the Year' award by iamsad.co.uk for being sad enough to ask for an award, and for not receiving a nomination for a Sony Radio award. (Thanks for the mention Eddie).
More details will follow soon, along with a stack of new pages that will make your toes curl. Right now I'm adding the popular voting facility to all listings pages and inventing some categories to stop the directory from becoming one great big page. Meanwhile, why not marvel at the beauty of the award we've presented to www.attackofthegiantpastyman.com
Revisit after the weekend, (15th April).
10th April 2002
May pt2 (and a bit of June).
My voting experiment has produced some unexpected results. The mechanism is pretty simple, each site can be graded by you as 'funny', 'sad but good', 'arg!' and just 'rubbish'. When I first implemented this, I thought a different site would come top for each category. However, one site has collected more votes than any other in no less than three.
With 23% of the 'funny' votes, 7% of the 'sad but good' votes, and 10% of the 'rubbish' votes, the most voted for site so far on iamsad.co.uk is... (drum roll)...
... Swear-O-Tron
"But what about 'Arg!'?", I hear you cry. Well, despite grading his own site as 'funny' on numerous occasions, Bugman has received the most 'Arg!' votes. Not many 'Arg!' votes have been cast though so this could change any time.
Stop Press! 'Sister Taffy's Friends of Baby Jesus' knocks 'Bugman' off the top spot for most 'Arg!' votes. (Currently at the foot of the Top Ten page.)
21st May 2002
May pt.1
Judging by iamsad.co.uk's visitor reports, it seems that most of you finding this via search engines are looking for 'funny websites'. If that's you, try the 'top ten' link above or click here.
If you're a returning visitor or subscriber - The 'new' section has recently been updated.
Coming soon - Vote results and Directory Categories.
The new pictures on mateinastate.com are very funny.
Enjoy - Sadmaster.
19th May 2002
June
There may be a world cup in progress, but someone has to keep the best online directory of funny websites up-to-date...
Read about "Cathy's Realm" on the awards page here: awards. It's a corker.
I revisited this old favourite yesterday: Michele's and John's World of Books and Cafe. Apart from being quite hopelessly sad, the part that always gets me laughing is the good old 'Guest Book' which has been gathering occasional insults since 1997. Click here to go directly to the very funny guest book.
FREE T SHIRTS are back. Click the merchandise link above or here for details.
More soon... sadmaster
8th June 2002
The King Lives
Elvis has been all over the traditional media in the UK during the last few weeks. The tune 'ELVIS VS JXL' - 'A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION' first entered the national consciousness via Nike ads featuring top international soccer-stars, and has since been in a rash of TV trailers. After 5 weeks the track is down from No1 in the national charts to No3 and you can't go a day without hearing it somewhere. But then Elvis has long been the top international superstar icon - the king of fame.
Elvis is well represented in New Media too, with Google listing some 2,270,000 results for 'Elvis' which is 70,000 more than 'under construction'.
To save you from having to wade through all 2,270,000 here's my pick of the saddest/funniest Elvis websites out there:
'Chelvis: The Chinese Elvis'. As always, check out the guestbook.
'Ask The King' Invaluable life changing decision maker.
'Professional Elvis Impersonators Association' Need I say anything?
'Tickle Me Elvis' A page by the aptly named 'Mr.Pants' - it stinks.
'The Oracle of Elvis' P*ss poor.
'Elvis Killed Kennedy!!!!!' Arg! What is that awful 'music'?
'The First Church of Jesus Christ, Elvis' Heaven help us.
'Disgraceland' Look out for FRIZ-ELVIS THE BUDGIE KING.
If you find any better, or worse, please let me know.
Thank you very much.
Sadmaster.
17th July 2002
sad t-shirts - express your sadness
My own little experimental 'retail proposition', in case you haven't already guessed, is t-shirts. I don't suppose this online offering will generate enough cash to pay for my hosting, but I might get a pint out of it, and you never know, if Ben Shumin can get his granny to buy a mug with his big round grinning mug on it, I should be able to achieve a couple of sales. Click the link below to check out the competition...
Ben Shumin's Shop of Sh*t.
Meat Buy Products - These examples of mad merchandise are a lot more worthy of your hard earned bucks, and are quite funny, but don't feel obliged to buy them - I don't get any commission.
Finally, there are more sh*tty shirts here than you could shake a sh*tty stick at. www.cozmikshirts.co.uk
2nd September 2002
October already
The iamsad directory is about to get much fatter...
Categories, that's what you need when you have more funny websites than a single page can cope with, so the iamsad.co.uk directory now features categories.
There will soon be another category called 'Friday links' for those of you who like to end the week by playing online games like Electrotank's Mini-Golf, (www.electrotank.com), (can you beat The Sadmaster's 12 under par?), or check this site out for online Pacman and Space Invaders - top stuff http://www.neave.com/webgames/
11th October 2002
Novembrrrrr
I don't know about you, but I find these long winter evenings perfect for catching up with a bit of sad site surfing and iamsad.co.uk site maintenance. I've been adding loads more sad and funny websites to the directory recently since it was categorised, and now I've even published a page showing you how you have been rating the sites listed here (Top 10s)
Swear-O-Tron is still no. 1 for 'funny' votes, but the lead has been reduced by 'Sister Taffy's Friends Of Baby Jesus' which cleans up in every other category.
1st November 2002
Is it 2003 already?
Hello Sad Fans - and welcome.
Sorry that I haven't written a main feature for a while - I've been busy with other projects. What can I say? Gotta feed the family and all that. I'm about to start trawling through a massive list of saved web addresses to see if any of them are worthy of a listing. If I find any real belters, I'll mention them here, otherwise if they're just sad like this one thermalpad4pets.com, they'll be added to the NEW ADDITIONS page.
Here's a belter : http://landofos.com/
STOP PRESS - Daniel Selby, the Osmonds fan, has asked me to remove his picture and I need your help to find a replacement. Please send links and suggestions to .
Thanks to a sad fan I now have a replacement for the Osmonds : mark-mind.com. I particularly like the survey which isn't a form and has no instructions as to what you're supposed to do with it. And as for the breakdancing videos.... I'd better not comment.
Sad Mat.
aka:the sadmaster.
10th March 2003
Summer 2003
As always, an update to the iamsad.co.uk collection of funny websites is long overdue. I keep thinking about making time to throw a few words together about one or two of the ridiculous sites that I've either found on my electronic travels or that have been sent to me by like this one sent in by Lisa: www.miketheheadlesschicken.org The story of Mike The Headless Chicken seems just too good to be true, and everyone I've told about this site has taken some convincing. It looks genuine to me, but see what you think, and remember, as you email all your friends a link to this one, you saw it here first.
21st June 2003
It's been too long
Has it really been 9 months since I last updated this site? I guess it must be. I really am sad - spending all my time working on websites to the point where I can now no longer hold a conversation with anyone about normal life. Still, not as sad as the chap who sent me an email saying, "I want to submit my web site because its so terrible. Its Argh and sad and just stupid! Its called http://www.pepetarians.org Its about my friend's dog, named Pepe. We love Pepe so much we decided to make a web page about him. How many dogs do you know that have a web page?"
Well there's this beauty for a start: http://www.progsoc.uts.edu.au/~sammy/pets/pets.html. Follow the link to the home page for a real treat.
More funny website are being added and another update will arrive soon - I'm planning the iamsad.co.uk Guest Book!
17th March 2004
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thehollywoodextra.com
"My name is Phil Schwartzetti and I have the best job in the world!!
I am a MOVIE EXTRA in HOLLYWOOD !!!" |
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leonsmith.co.uk
I've a number of hobbies including mountain biking and power kite flying. When I get the time I catch a move on my home cinema setup. See the cycling, home cinema and power kites pages for more details. |
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Meet Microsoft's new dancing baby
You may have seen a video a few months ago of Microsoft's chief executive, Steve Ballmer, jumping about a conference stage screaming like an electrocuted speed-freak. A shorter video clip has since been doing the rounds where, seemingly at the risk of a heart-attack, Ballmer repeats the word 'developers' with worrying manic desperation to the point of near collapse.
Now there's a musical montage combining both videos with a track by Digital Roo.
-- original video clips available from ntk.net -- |
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mysticwebdesign.com
It's not hard to publish stuff on the Internet all you need is access to a computer. Consequently, countless talent-challenged, self-deluded losers have downloaded a few bits of shareware, cobbled together a few pages of semi-literate tat, decorated them with garish amateur graphics, and declared themselves a professional. |
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Dancing Paul
He's interactive and groovy. He shakes his booty. It's.... Dancing Paul. |
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Three Brain
hahahahaha new cartoon! Paralyzed larva man! if I spelled "paralyzed" wrong screw you! cause I'm drunk and so stuffed off a tuna melt! I can't breathe i'm so full! anyways! hahahaha watch the new cartoon! |
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Rdmnx Web Creations
The most beautiful collection of Inspirational, romantic, Humourous, Flash pages available on the net. |
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Navel Fluff
Some people gaze into their navel for inspiration: I look into mine and see navel fluff. Also known as navel lint, it is that fascinating fluffy substance that forms mysteriously in the belly buttons of special people. |
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Cheese Racing!
I always wondered what cheese slices were actually for.
Now I know. |
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PawSense
PawSense is a software utility that helps protect your computer from cats. It quickly detects and blocks cat typing, and also helps train your cat to stay off the computer keyboard. |
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It's a miracle!
If you are fortunate enough to witness this image of Jesus Christ wink, please tell your friends and family about this miracle! |
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With You Always
I was awakened in the middle of the night with a clear, vivid impression that the Lord wanted me to do some special drawings. |
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Welcome to Primordality
Join us on our trek through the Grand Universe of Primary Consciousness and envision true Existence at the Quantum Level |
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The Illustrated Guide To Breaking Your Computer
When you work in a job where you are constantly using computers for long enough, you develop a certain anxious feeling which can pretty much only be cured by beating the hell out of an old computer or two. |
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The Shelbrook Hotel
SPECIAL PACKAGES AVAILABLE THROUGHOUT THE
YEAR. BIRDWATCHING GROUPS CATERED FOR. |
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Dead Hard Diamonds
"A LifeGem is a certified, high quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique and wonderful life." |
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Enter The Ninja !
From the guest book:
"don't you think that america have ruined the reputation of ninja enough. do you really have to continue this endless legacy of comercialisation. god dammit."
"hey i only wanted to make one comment. ninja dont actually breath underwater" |
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People for the Non-Ethical Treatment Of Stuffed Animals
This site follows the now tired 'Watch us crazy kids set fire to toys and things' formula, but without the MPEGs. Instead, content is delivered via several long pages of JPEG photos with captions. Apparently I'm visitor number 377 - how sad is that? |
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The Time Travel Fund[tm]
Imagine you could set up a fund, in the present/now, that could continue to grow for hundred of years after your death - to the time when, as is inevitable, time-travel is invented. This future pot o' gold could then fund some future entity to come and get you from your dreary present-day familiar existence and plonk you in what would probably be an entirely alien environment where you would have the social status of an 19th century circus freak. |
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NATURE
"Since I have informed you of Nature's Harmonic Time Cube 4-Day Creation Principle, your stupidity is no longer the issue." |
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Derek Denniss - Entertainer
Derek is the resident studio 'warm-up' entertainer for the South African series of ' WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE', and holder of a Guiness World Record for telling jokes for 60 hours. |
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Ben Schumin
My name is Ben Schumin, and this is my little world, which I have created and continue to maintain, as I have been doing since March 23, 1996. |
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crazymidiman
Complete MIDI Organist Available To Take Church Into The 21st. Century Using MIDI In The Organ Console Where The Church Belongs! |
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Cathy's Realm of Dream Poetry
I should have known that searching for 'my lovely awards' on Google would turn up something specially sad. The top result, (out of 169,000), is a page which features this breathtaking item of web page finery, "Cathy's Dream Poetry Award For: Excellence in Design", together with a link to the website, (or should I say 'realm'?), of its creator.
I've seen some pretty sad sh*t when looking for sites to feature on iamsad, but this is like a doorway into another level of naffness - a parallel universe of weeping, fat middle-aged women writing poetry so bad that reading it aloud would loosen cladding.
CathysRealm
Enter at your own risk. There are many levels to this site, and multiple 'please enter' links lure you ever deeper into what must be the closest thing I've experienced to a virtual crematorium waiting-room. The background music gets progressively worse and darkly trance inducing to the point where if you actually read one of the 'poems' with the background music at a reasonable level and some of the lovely animated graphics flying around and then suddenly stop and close your browser, you get the same effect as when leaving a cinema after watching a matinee after a couple of pints - a kind of bleary darkness into light sensation. Spooky. :o{
12th June 2002
sad awards - the mark of sadness
A site's sadness is often reflected in the 'awards' it proudly displays. Most of these worthless trophies are nothing more than a device for getting naive Web site owners to feature a link to the awarder's site. The rest are a mix of clumsy amateur one-offs, vain attempts to say "I must be good I give awards", and strange "I just lurve your byooteeful site" calling cards.
Common design features to look out for include dragons, castles, 'lens flare' effects, bevelled edges, 'script' style typefaces, spiders and webs, flowers, cherubs and so on.
During this moring's edition of Radio 4's 'Broadcasting House', its presenter, Eddie Mair, seemed dissappointed at not being nominated for a Sony Radio Award, (unlike in 2000). In response, and in the tradition of most web awards, iamsad.co.uk is proud to present the Broadcasting House programme with the first ever iamsad.co.uk award.
24th March 2002
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weareallbadgers
Here's a link: www.weareallbadgers.com
Hope you like it!
The best way to describe it is 'random warblings', but that does not convey much to you of course. I shall try harder:
It is a 'comedy' site based initially on the premise of using the word badger as much as possible and in as many ways as possible. Over time, it has developed into much more than that with items on:
The Colour of the Day Competition: detailing the true history of how colours originally formed in our world.
The Word of the Day Competition: all the latest news from the prestigious Word awards from London.
Real-life Badger news items: that's right, real-life badger news items.
Interactive highlights include:
BadgerQuest: Control Smelly Jenkins in this online adventure game. A simple 'which-door-will-you-go-through' style adventure game but with bells on. Lots of bells. Even bells shaped like fish... (What I am trying to say is that it is a truly unique and rewarding experience, and with more than 200 pages to visit, it's quite an adventure.)
Questionnaire: Self-Explanatory; does what it says on the tin.
Footy Quiz: Guess which teams are portrayed by my pictorial representations for no prizes what-so-ever. Except eternal respect from your friends.
Thanks for reading!
Cheers, John |
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Daniel Selby's Donny & Marie Osmond Collection
Having received an email or two from Mr Selby, I have decided that's it's only polite of me to remove my earlier remarks and replace them with some of his own words:
"I had many friends growing up, no matter what you said about me and I am not a psycho just because I appreciate my youth or my fellow Mormons." |
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Bean-O Boy!
Oh Boy! This is bad. There's really only one section in this site 'About Me'. This chap's ego seems far more advanced than his sense of humour. Laugh? I nearly did. |
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Woman & Carps
I do try to avoid featuring links to sites that contain anything seedy. This is too odd and funny to leave out though, and the site does seem to be largely focussed on fishing.
[ warning - contains images of partial nudity and fish ] |
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R U Ready?
Wondering what to do if you accidentally set fire to your back? Advice is available. |
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WolfDreamDesign
"The following sites were designed by Wolf Dream but for various reasons are no longer on the net." I wonder why. I wonder if the Wolf part of the name is to do with howlers? |
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BlokesFromThePubReunited
If you're familiar with Friends Reunited you might like this fine parody. Thanks for the link Simon. |
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Pepetarians.org
"I want to submit my web site because its so terrible. Its Argh and sad and just stupid! Its called http://www.pepetarians.org
Its about my friend's dog, named Pepe. We love Pepe so much we decided to make a web page about him. How many dogs do you know that have a web page?" |
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Greenwood Art
"This form of art has been practiced in our family for three generations." |
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twistedmindz
Putting crap on the web since 2000, featuring stoats, swearing and gay ducks. |
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Bob Saget is God
The title says it all... Bob Saget, host of America's Funniest Home Videos and star of Full House is indeed the HOLY SAVIOUR himself!
Come one, come all, FEEL THE POWER OF THE ALLMIGHT BOB SAGET |
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sad boys
"very sad little boys who think that they are explorers." |
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toothbrushtoby
Hello welcome to the home page of Tobys Top Toys. You may of been wondering what that little farmer boy gets up to when he's at home, well this website will answer that question which is on everyones mind....Please feel free to write in the guest book. |
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asinine poetry
"Silly! Sad! Saucy! Insane verse! Some so bad they're good. Some so good, they're not bad. Sorta. Plus asinine prose and contests and animation." |
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Office Bike
"The new Pot Noodle site is here to liven up the UK’s bored workforce with a saucy new advert and some mischievous online activity. The new advert ‘The Bicycle of all Snacks’ is available to view on the site, as well as a cheeky viral game (where you can win £500) and flirty interactive quiz promise to keep you entertained at work all day long!" |
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GasBGon for Flatulence
This website features an unusual product called a flatulence cushion, and was recently featured in the Daily Telegraph. |
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May I take your order?
It was a night like any other - people inviting us out to a steakhouse. We get there, we are seated in a private room. All was well. Niceties aside, we prepare to order. I ask my wife what I should get. She says, "Go ahead and look at the menu - it's in English."
"Oh Really?" |
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Really bad web design
Not exactly funny, just bad bad bad design. If you can read it, you might find out something about her (but I doubt it) |
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It's Jerry Time!
The award-winning animated website features the sad but "true tales from the life of Jerry," a fortysomething whose life is just a bit harder than it should be. |
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